Dr. Seuss Is Tony Robins For Kids

Dr. Seuss’s illustrations are steeped in harmful stereotypes they say. But I don’t recall him drawing a picture of BLM protestors looting the Gucci store, who refuse to pay.

Dr. Seuss drew a picture of a topless African in a grass shirt. He’s a racist then, it’s set. But I didn’t know Fubu was in fashion yet.

Has anybody complained about the hooked nosed, Goblin Bankers in Harry Potter yet? You know Mel Gibson was overjoyed with that movie set. Did JK Rowling, think, I’m hiring Mel Gibson as the set designer on my flick, Mel being a throbbing Jew hater dick, makes him my automatic number one pick.

What if I don’t care for Green Eggs and Ham? This means what, I hate the Irish race and refuse to play beer bong with them at such a rapid fire pace? Or does it mean, I insist on watching Irish movies with subtitles because of the funny way they sound, while also refusing to unfold my arms and dance in junior high to more Jump Around?

Dr. Seuss drew pictures of Asians eating with chopsticks, how sick. It’s worse than drawing a picture of Cardi’s B dropping her slippery chopsticks into her cum bucket, full of other forgotten stuffing’s in there like a lost lost chicken nugget.

What happens in the book, And To Think I Saw It on Mulberry St? Did Sonny and his crew beat up a bunch of rowdy bikers on the street, because they sprayed beer on the bartender and should’ve stuck to ordering their drinks neat? Wait a minute that happened in the Bronx Tale. American made mafia tales about the working man can’t be beat. I only wish Chazz Palminteri’s acting career, still packed so much heat.

Dr. Seuss is the Tony Robins for kids, who continues to inspires millions of kids to keep fighting for their dreams, instead of recommending they watch, 13 Reasons Why, whenever they feel their lives are falling apart at the seams.

Dr. Seuss was right. There is fun to be done and games to win. Just stop playing the victim, give Twitter a time out or just dump your tablet into the trash bin.

Michael Kornbluth

A Son’s Love

A son’s love is God’s way of saying, I’m on your team.

A son’s love urges you to become a famous children’s author but funnier than Weird Al.

A son’s love is an unexpected hug from behind when you’re on the ground cleaning up after him.

A son’s love spoils you rotten because your tolerance for petty, passive aggressive behavior from lesser Alpha males becomes significantly less.

A son’s love makes you feel like a winner inside because you know he believes in your enormous upside.

A son’s love allows you to relive your childhood through more mature lens and start reteaching yourself the proper way to hold a pen.

A son’s love is a natural transfer of extreme joy. Assuming you’re raising your boys on more than just soy.

A son’s love is a 2nd chance at respectable redemption because abstaining from all hard booze at home for them does wonders for your complexion.

A son’s love never ceases to amaze like endless repeating viewings of Richard Linklater’s Dazed.

A son’s love makes you incredibly proud, especially when they deliver such A plus nicknames in your honor like “Always Loud.”

A son’s love makes you feel luckier than Lou Gehrig on earth. Batting behind Babe Ruth every playoff-birth.

A son’s love means I’ll silence the next guy who tells my son to shut up in a scoff because his head will be knocked right off.

Michael Kornbluth