Controlling My Kids With Comedy Pitch

Controlling My Kids With A Comedy, A Love Story, is tale about stay at home dad’s quest to become a podcast hero and publisher author who refuses to give up on making money off his special brand of edgy, family man funny, in order to make his Do It All Dad Year come true. It’s also a clown origin story and about how faith is never giving up on doing you.

Books about fatherhood blow because they never emote about falling for fatherhood, why children love back or how comedy control rules until now. Because like famous humorist, Victor Borge said, “Laughter is the shortest distance between 2 people.” So getting more laughs from your kids is the difference between growing closer to your kids or bombing at parenting, as long as you focus on making the most of your stage time with your kids because they’ll always love you back with 10 times more emotional oomph as long as you make them feel like the center of the universe instead of the reverse.

But failing to be a provider bites and stay at home dads can’t survive unless they find way to cope with not being a financial provider for the time being. Controlling My Kids With Comedy, is also a tale about how stay at home dads get no respect from fake feminists until they start bringing home the bacon again and how coping through clowning through jokes is a way to fight back. It’s also a tale about the pursuit of happiness from the stay-at-home work front, which is the best choice our dads never had. Controlling our kids with comedy, can make our kids great again, Do It All Dad’s fuss free kids, 98 percent of the time are living proof of it.

Michael Kornbluth

Do It All Dad Does Jokes Dedication Intro

Do It All Dad Jokes is a pre-election comedy special dedicated to the silent majority of Americans who haven’t lost their sense of humor yet. It’s also dedicated to the funniest President of all time ,whose made ball busting great again, despite the Russian collusion witch hunt, which had less legs than Lieutenant Dan. Oh yeah, when Bob Mueller testified in front of Congress, we learned he parts his hair with good old fashioned elbow grease.

Do It All Dad Does Jokes is also dedicated to my comedy heroes such as Rodney, Don Rickles, The Dice Man and the late great Joan Rivers. They’re comedic DNA has become my own. Joan lives.  In particular Do It All Dad Does Jokes is an all-star showcase of highly topical jokes, making fun of the resistance insanity, that’s consumed Hollywood, Media, Big Tech and our culture at large ever since Hillary Hammer Time Cankles lost, kicking off the never ending excuse tour, proving, baby boomer arrogance never dies.

For those who’ve been clamoring for actual laugh generating jokes, that aren’t about demonizing the big, bad, blond wolf in the White House, then you’re in for a real treat. And for those, who take offense at bits such as Quiet Riots My Ass, Defending Those Devilish Jews Again,  Kneeling Is Spitting On Vets Graves, MAGA Hats and Skinheads Don’t Mesh, Masks Are The New Condoms, Not, Hamilton Is Worse than Obama Rapping and Collin Kaepernick Sports A Fake News Fro. Then, go woke yourself or move to China and work for Elon Musk for all I care. You don’t care about making American comedy great again, but I do.

I wouldn’t have been able to create this elusive killer set as a stay at home comedian, hosting my Do It All Dad Year Podcast for the past 3 plus years without my biggest booster in the universe, my infinitely, funnier, sweet twin, Matilda Singing Rose Kornbluth, to look after and entertain her 2 adoring younger brothers in my pursuit to make the world laugh for a living and serve lady laugh with all my God given, punchy might.

Controlling our kids with comedy, can make our kids great again, my 3 fuss free kids, 98 percent of the time, are living proof of it.  Last, I want to thank my Do It All Nurse Wife, whose loving support, begrudging or not, that’s provided me the freedom and time to take creative chances, hone my craft and break on through to the other side of comedy heaven, where Rodney says to me one day, “You produced 3 amazing kids but your jokes were perfect.”

 

My Very Best,

Michael Kornbluth

Don’t Stop Feeling

I’ll always love Journey. Lead singer Steve Perry is the “voice” for a reason. Still, listening to Steve Perry’s new album on Spotify this morning, made feel like the eunuch sentimentalist from Game Of Thrones; desperate to feel a link to my age of innocence.

 

Michael Kornbluth

Funnier Dad, Happier Babies

Whenever I’m out with my 3 kids without mommy, older woman swoon, constantly commenting to me, “Your kids are so happy together.” My reply, “Funnier dad, happier babies. I’ll wreck you in a photo off boomer dad. My kids have more muscle memory to flex from. Sorry, about you still thinking you’re the superior parent within all spheres of life, because because baby boomer arrogance never dies.  At the same time, my 3 fuss free kids 98% of the time, are all glowing beneficiaries of the attachment parenting, which is turning your bed into the a 24/7 open milk bar for the foreseeable future. It’s the equivalent of planting seeds of self-esteem on steroids. So they’re not suffering from any major abandonment issues, for being another newborn who has cry it out in the crib upstairs, which is the only reason why our boomer parents bought 2 floor homes in yenta breath country in Long Island  because it makes the muffled cries of despair, easier to bear.”

 

Michael Kornbluth

Worshiping NPR Gospel Is Dangerous

Doctors telling us to not wear mask is dangerous.  So, is wrecking the economy in attempt to get pedo Joe nominated by any means necessary, you feckless, fake news moralists cunts, of the most despicable order.

But most people don’t know if they have Covid, so you have to wear a mask or else you’ll be branded as an alt-right, science spurning deplorable, who doesn’t do cartwheels over the wide spread celebration of third term abortions on demand because the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Model just thought she was being brave by letting it all hang out like Lena Dunham looking like she swallowed a village of hunchback hobbits from Hipsterville USA.

Michael Kornbluth

Masks Are The New Condoms, Not

Masks are the new condoms, not. I’d rather attend a Marti Gras parade in Brazil and flash my flap free Kosher grade schlong for some beads, without a mask on, than go bare backing with a gorgeous She-Male with 0.0 body fat on her stomach and legs, despite me getting a leg up on the competition before Bill Maher throws some anal beads into the mix.  Fine, Charlie Sheen is the sole source behind millions of page views on primoshemalemixes.com.

Michael Kornbluth