Stay Humble Humbug

Anyone who tells you to stay humble should be off the list from your life. All they’re trying to do is stifle your surging MOJO on the rise out of pure spite alone. Not because they’re trying to get you into Heaven.

Stay humble humbug. You mean like Adam Levine at a Soul Cycle class in West Hollywood with his Under Armour shirt on for a change?

Stay humble Under Armour? Because Steph Curry became Steph Curry from cutting out all hot dogging from his acorn, Chipmunk diet.

Stay humble, how can you say that with a straight face Under Armour? If Tom Brady was humble, he wouldn’t have dumped his pregnant actress wife for a high grade puss upgrade in Gisele. Thinking, I deserve flap free, Latin love in my heart.

Stay humble humbug. Now, I know why Lebron James is with Nike over Under Armour. He’s the best ever, at what? Squandering his enormous social media platform to accentuate more racial identity political hate like Obama with talent.

Stay humble, you mean stay a meek pushover forever? Who allows tenured, colorless, zero talent high school teacher hacks dictate what mountains of success to mount because I was prematurely labeled learning disabled? F that.

Stay humble man. Stay At Home Dads don’t have to contend with enough of a shit show from jealous fake news friends, faith in you still making it as a writer wives, and she male baby sitter looks outside the home at large already?


If a so called friend tells you to stay humble. It means they’re tired of you rubbing your recent success in their face, despite it not being intended to be perceived or processed this way.

Being humble is the opposite of being a fair weather, douche bag LA Rams fan. Expecting to be greeted with open arms in Atlanta Super Bowl weekend, especially after specifying for non-sweetened tea at the local Barbecue B&B.

I don’t see Under Armour tapping the open borders Pope as their next celebrity endorsement because he doesn’t embody the stay humble edict compared to other humble, zero social media shit talking servants of the Lord all mighty.

Stay humble but I’m not the one claiming Native American Ancestry with Alien blooded Shamans. So I can get into the finest Ivy league law school institution from sea to shining sea, off Plymouth Rock.



Did the congress woman Freshman appear humble during their shout out during our recent SOTU? They threw their shoulder pads off center from patting themselves on the back over ICE agents who keep them comfy and warm.

Stay humble humbug. You mean like Democrats who act like they won the House and Senate without the aid of illegal voting in their favor? Because they’re such truthful, uplifting champions of the American underdog in us all?

If Ricky Gervais remained humble, he’d stay in his old office job like every other schmuck in a headset. With his balls tucked neatly away in a Scones bin. Content watching more Hugh Grant rom com’s on the Teli with his dumpy wife against his will again.

The CEO of Netflix is real humble. He still acts like their shit doesn’t stink despite being hundreds of millions of dollars in hole because you can no longer afford to pay Chris Rock with just one rib.

Paul Mooney became Richard Pryor’s main joke writer and best friend in Berkeley by being more than a shrinking violet. He also demonized the white man and defended Michael Jackson forever and made out alright.

If I stay humble, I let my mom get in the last word, declaring my desire to write a screenplay as too ambitious. So, I write a best selling, career catapulting parenting book Stay At Comedian with A Plus jokes all the way instead.

Stay humble screams remain a subservient, ass kissing beggar, going out of your way to plea for a shot to feed your family from whatever employer because your talent has o.o leverage when you’re an out of work blogger, podcast comedian.


The End


Michael Kornbluth