I only feel tough around black dudes in masks, which is the craziest phenomenon of my lifetime. I don’t think every black dude had to duke it out in Watts growing up. But if NPR were to take a survey of the least likely demographic to still be sporting masks at Dicks Sporting Goods while fondling size 13 Nikes. Plus, since when are black guys as a whole proactive about playing defense of any kind? A black dude in a mask isn’t looking good or winning over any fly ho’s while having to pull a nappy down between sips of Old E, Snoop Dog’s old school ho sprayer of choice. Ludacris please, you’re just bequeathing more power to Dr. Gnocchi, which is dumb. That’s like taking barebacking advice from Dr. J who passed it down to Magic Johnson. I’m still twice as soft as any black dude, not named Erkel but I also didn’t get triple vaxed out of fear of catching an itchy esophagus. Last, like most black dudes, I don’t discriminate against pussy, although in Meghan Mccain, no matter how much intricate ass play preceded, I’d still be twice as soft compared to Leroy Brown from the block. Challah. Twice as soft, Challah. Thank you very much.
Michael Kornbluth