Twice as Soft

I only feel tough around black dudes in masks, which is the craziest phenomenon of my lifetime. I don’t think every black dude had to duke it out in Watts growing up. But if NPR were to take a survey of the least likely demographic to still be sporting masks at Dicks Sporting Goods while fondling size 13 Nikes. Plus, since when are black guys as a whole proactive about playing defense of any kind? A black dude in a mask isn’t looking good or winning over any fly ho’s while having to pull a nappy down between sips of Old E, Snoop Dog’s old school ho sprayer of choice. Ludacris please, you’re just bequeathing more power to Dr. Gnocchi, which is dumb. That’s like taking barebacking advice from Dr. J who passed it down to Magic Johnson. I’m still twice as soft as any black dude, not named Erkel but I also didn’t get triple vaxed out of fear of catching an itchy esophagus. Last, like most black dudes, I don’t discriminate against pussy, although in Meghan Mccain, no matter how much intricate ass play preceded, I’d still be twice as soft compared to Leroy Brown from the block. Challah. Twice as soft, Challah. Thank you very much.

Michael Kornbluth

White Hats Matter

Since when is depriving yourself NBA games on TNT racist? Granted, I do blow off the game to spend time online looking for glimmers of hope about White Hats in the military planning a takeover of our government since the day Democracy died. But I wouldn’t call this racist behavior. Unless I placed parental controls on my kid’s Amazon Fires and only allowed them to watch Gonzaga team scrimmages on YouTube or on white web matters sites such as the 4OutOf5StartersAint’Bad.

I’m also not telling my son truly tastes jokes about Rex Chapma’s vaunted 39-inch vertical leap of yesteryear.

Why is Rex Chapman’s vertical so high kids?

Because playing with all black guys for the 1st time after hitting puberty would make any future budding All-American jumpy.

The Klan was founded by Democrats by the way, add Jim Crow and slavery to their resumes to. Resist this.

White Hats should change their name to green beret hats because they’re money in the bank, like backing our US currency on the gold standard again, God forbid.

Then again, China, Gates and Saudia Arabia own all our farmland, debt and collateral in the form of intellectual property stolen at will, including our nuclear launch codes to the highest bidder in China, so what difference does it make? Hillary Hammer Time Cankles strikes again.

If only Bill Clinton’s Lolita express trips mattered or Weiner’s laptop, or Wikileaks exposing pedo friendly lingo in relation to Pizza Gate or framed pics of kids in bondage at John Podesta’s house that’s enough pedo installation artwork to make Marilyn Manson blush.

God’s speed, White Hats, if you actually exist, make good guy white hats matter because the punks in black hoodies pretending to be Punisher vigilantes on the behalf of the FBI, aren’t cutting it.

White Hats Matter. Happy 4th!

Challah, Thank you very much.

Michael Kornbluth

Predator In A Dress Loophole

What could you say in the media’s defense for trying to outlaw self-defense while pushing to make Kyle Rittenhouse their foamed over sacrificial lamb in the process?

Let mob rule. But if Kyle Rittenhouse was Elliot Page, formerly known as Juno, the media would lionize this Eagle Scout, Sharp Shooter, as America’s Toxic Tomboy Avenger. Who’s the only one allowed to shoot ANTIFA’s diplomatic immunity up their ass by claiming they were begging for it and kept coming back for more.

The Toxic Tomboy Avenger could get away with jamming a plunger up the Black Panther’s ass for shits and giggles if she he wanted to. The following the day the NY Times prints thèse headlines: Plunging Is The New Gerbiling.” “Give Forced Sodomy A Chance.” “Shitting Out Homophobia One Plunger At A Time.” “Flabbergasted Or Bug In Your Ass Free?”

Black Panther eventually acts in self-defense and swats the plunger up Toxic Tomboy’s Avenger’s ass before choking his attacker out with Diane Keaton’s tie from Annie Hall. Black Panter turns Kyle Rittenhouse white after the gay mafia bought off jury declares him guilty of premediated murder and aggressively active assault on an androgynous actor’s anus hole, formerly known as Juno in Dave Chappelle’s wildest pot powered dream.

The End



Michael Kornbluth

Dream Self-Defense Loophole

What could you say in the media’s defense for trying to outlaw self-defense while pushing to make Kyle Rittenhouse their foamed over sacrificial lamb in the process?

Let mob rule. But if Kyle Rittenhouse was Elliot Page, formerly known as Juno, the media would lionize this Eagle Scout, Sharp Shooter, as America’s Toxic Tomboy Avenger. Who’s the only one allowed to shoot ANTIFA’s diplomatic immunity up their ass by claiming they were begging for it and kept coming back for more.

The Toxic Tomboy Avenger could get away with jamming a plunger up the Black Panther’s ass for shits and giggles if she he wanted to. The following the day the NY Times prints thèse headlines: Plunging Is The New Gerbiling.” “Give Forced Sodomy A Chance.” “Shitting Out Homophobia One Plunger At A Time.” “Flabbergasted Or Bug In Your Ass Free?”

Black Panther eventually acts in self-defense and swats the plunger up Toxic Tomboy’s Avenger’s ass before choking his attacker out with Diane Keaton’s tie from Annie Hall. Black Panter turns Kyle Rittenhouse white after the gay mafia bought off jury declares him guilty of premediated murder and aggressively active assault on an androgynous actor’s anus hole, formerly known as Juno in Dave Chappelle’s wildest pot powered dream.

The End

Michael Kornbluth

Halloween Made Easy

The opposite of Halloween spirt is hanging up an ISIS flag to scare away Trick or Treaters.

Son doesn’t want to wear a costume for school. But I didn’t want him to feel excluded. So, I burned all his masks before he went to school so if anyone asked what his costume was, he could say, “New face of the Burning Mask Party and youngest mayor in New York City history. What’s his campaign slogan? I don’t eat pizza with a fork and knife like putz breath De-Blasio for starters. And school mask mandates are for power mad, mongoloid moron politicians. Plus, De-Blasio’s wife used to be full time Park Slope lesbian in Brooklyn before they met yet 8 million New Yorker’s known for their well developed bullshit detection abilities are supposed to believe Garlic Breath converted her. But a mongoloid moron who eats pizza with a fork and knife would go down on her natty dread snatch without a mask on, with such sloppy, reckless abandon is a plausible theory to digest.

Last year, I got my family dressed up like the one from American Dad. A dad in nearby Katonah, New York took one look at our family and says, “I don’t get it.” I say, “I’m Stan Smith from American Dad, blatantly fictitious do-gooder operative for the Deep State, you know Swamp Thing. We even made a sign for my parents in Scottsdale, Arizona that says, “Build The Pool Fence. Our 1st choice was dressing up in black face like the Cleveland Show family but Megyn Kelly stole our thunder. You strike me as more of a Uni Brow Maddow fan. This my impersonation of Chris Matthews sexually harassing a new chesty intern from Yenta country in Long Island for MSNBC, “Eating our Maddow, counts as your lunch break babe.” United we laugh, I prove it every day. Happy Halloween weekend made easy, Challah. Thank you very much.

Michael Kornbluth