Fucking Greta Thunberg Again, Revised

Fucking Greta Thunberg again.

Why did Greta Thunberg win Time’s Person of the Year? All furry brow did was make eco-anxiety go viral.

Her parents support ANTIFA, but I’m sure her heart is in the right place.

Although I’m sure parents living on the Upper East Side, spending a quarter million a year on their twins’ elementary school education, appreciate being scolded by a 16-year-old on not doing enough to fight climate change.


Dad comes home at 9. Kids are still up, popping Melatonin Gummies like Nerds because they’re consumed with eco-anxiety. Because their Doorman on 87th and Madison can’t keep a typhoon out of their penthouse apartment, overlooking Central Park East.

Dad mouths off. “Why are the twins still up, freaking out again? Let me guess, fucking Greta Thunberg again. Sorry, if I took an Uber over a Citi Bike to my 5-course client dinner at Madison Park, you snotty, bug eyed bitch, and nobody cares about your celebrity buds on Instagram like Arnold who failed to pump up the ratings on the Apprentice.

Michael Kornbluth