Love Juice Lore

Sammy Hagar should be the new permanent cover of Men’s Journal Magazine.

Screw Deadpool in Tights, Ryan Reynolds looks like a metrosexual lesbian in comparison these days.

There’s only one way to rock and Sammy Hagar has done it for the past 45 years without losing his rock steady step.

Name another rocker who does so much banging on tour, he runs out of gunk for 3 weeks straight.

Imagine Sammy realizing he’s still out of gunk by week 3.

I don’t know what to tell you baby.

You’ll have to wait another 3 weeks to finish what we started.

Grab a meat ticket and a Cabo Wabo tequila key chain on your way out.

This Senior Frog can’t drive 55.

Love Juice Lore lives, Challah.

Red Rocker rocks on with more Heavy Metal.

This banging, American made Eagle has been in swoopy andale mode for a very, very, long time.

Michael Kornbluth

Cinco De Mayo Mope

It’s hard to completely love Sammy Hagar when you’re a recovering alcoholic. He gets to rock out for 4 decades to your 1 because you pissed your bed without fail throughout your late twenties. I’d be pissed to. Especially, if you never got try to his Tequilla. Why Can’t This Be Love blasts on surround sound at the local cantina in Hermosa Beach as a Recovering Alcoholic mutters to himself over his Quiona stuffed burrito during Cinco De Mayo, “Fuck Sammy Hagar, I hear his tequila tastes Van Halen light.”

Michael Kornbluth