Operation Whack Speed 2

Jennifer Aniston has cut off all contact with her unvaccinated friends. In related news, Chandler still looks like shit regardless. You’d think he slept in a bat cave on the Warner Brother’s lot for Christ sake.

Biden officials even want vaccinated parents to wear masks at home to prevent their unvaccinated kids from getting COVID. In other words, vaccinations don’t matter.

Vaccines normally take a decade to get approval. But now the Biden administration is pushing the FDA to approve the COVID vaccine by the time Jared Kushner bursts in Ivanka whenever she talks dirty to him in Mandarin on his birthday again.

Biden just called all unvaccinated Americans the “new pandemic.” Did Obama give him the line or was it Valerie Jarret, Obama’s birthday party planner and live in Arabian horse whisperer, anyone following me yet? Mueller, Mueller, what did his testimony in front of congress prove again? Oh yeah, Mueller, Mr. Get A Haircut and Get a Real Job only parts his hair with gold old fashioned elbow grease. George Thorogood lives. The sky is crying a gulfstream of a hollas for some challahs wanted all over the world, holla. George Thorogood and The Destroyers demolish again, the best thing to come out of Delaware since Hunter’s forgotten I-Mac at the Wilmington computer repair shop. Ever heard of booking an appointment with the Genius Bar, genius, holla, thank you very much.

Unvaccinated Americans are the new “pandemic.” Mr. Unity whiffs again. Reality is, the experimental, non FDA approved vaccine is more useless than a mask on Biden at a brownie bakeoff for the PTA. Brownie Girls are getting inhaled whole regardless Jack.

Unvaccinated Americans are the new “pandemic.” I know, and all pro Desantis talk on Twitter is the new social disease.

Kids aren’t dying from COVID. But at this rate, the American spike sanctioned state isn’t giving them much to shoot for worth giving a shit about anymore either.

Get the vaccine for the kids. Woke bloke please. Democrats care less about child safety than photo ID for the open bar at John Podesta pool parties. Alex Jones lives, holla. Thank you very much.

The COVID vaccine works less than a stay at home dad who writes jokes about election fraud on WordPress for a living since the day election died.

The COVID vaccine being jammed down our throat with breathless fury isn’t safe like Stacey Abrams trying to steal home ever, regardless if it’s smothered in grits with indentions of Fabio’s dick.

China dumps it’s sewage into barrier reefs the way Stacey Abrams shits out crappy romance novels about finding love as congressional staffer after ditching the Ann Taylor suit for a sleeveless parachute jumper on casual Friday.

Did know you they banned spitting in Major League Baseball because of COVID spreading concerns. Yeah, and Stacy Abrams is allergic to Spanx. Now America’s favorite pastime in newsrooms, Hollywood backlots, corporate boardrooms and in Congress is swallowing whatever batshit sandwich China force feeds these sell out bitch propagandists to dump on the American public next. F your declaration of independence. Yuan money rules everything around us. You better mask up all, because the never ending shit show has only begun, unless you can move to Florida that’s a no go zone area for mask mandates, giving parents the choice of masking up their kids at school or not, Florida got love it. In Desantis we trust, thank you very much.

Michael Kornbluth

10 Homer Daily

I promised my daughter we’d write a song together this morning. She sang it beautifully. I don’t call her Singing Rose for nothing, here we go.

10 Homer Daily

10 Homer Daily calls out home run blasts in her sleep while other mere mortals kill the time by counting sheep.

10 Homer Daily squeezes pitchers dry, of any juice left to even pick up a piece of pie.

10 Homer Daily is the bard of going yard. The thought of keeping up with her killer blast flow is so hard.

10 Homer Daily whacks endless balls into the clouds while the Baseball Gods look down below upon more thunderous crowds.

10 Homer Daily loves high fast balls the best, pitch her outside or in, she’ll win any homer contest.

10 Homer Daily can smash a ball out of it’s seams, so move over Robert Redford for the new El captain of your team.  

10 Homer Daily is quite a sight. Her is swing is prettier than Aphrodite’s reflection under the moonlight.

10 Homer Daily was born for these times, while others retire she’s thrives in a perpetual prime.

10 Homer Daily makes the ball disappear in the clouds, inspiring the millions of fans to chant take me out the ball game really, really loud.

10 Homer Daily hits moonshots with ease. She’ll do it again no problem despite the pitcher from the Dominican Republic pleading no mas please.

10 Homer Daily stats don’t require graphs, as her stock continues to rise, as she rounds home to use her bat to sign her signature home trot autograph.

Michael and Matilda Kornbluth

Smiling In Seattle

Even in Ken Griffey Junior’s doc on ESPN, Lebron James, King of the Persecution Complex manages to act more petulant persecuted than ever. He says, “When you grow up where I did, the only sports you can play are Basketball and Football.” In other words, fuck Ken Griffey Junior’s comfy, black upbringing, chilling in the dug out watching George Foster crank out 52 dingers while I had to grow up in a fatherless home, only for my mama to shit where I ball and bang Delonte West because there’s nothing else better to do on a Tuesday in Cleveland anyway. Why do you think JR Smith was finally able to remain focused on the court and not have Rihanna suck him dry to the bone. Last, what the hell is Lebron James doing in a doc about Ken Griffey Junior? Lebron’s ugly ass jumper heave ho, will never be in the same class as Ken Griffey’s picture perfect, swing blasts for the ages. Plus, Ken Griffey Junior understood his personality limitations and stuck to smiling on Wheaties boxes and Upper Deck Rookie cards. Last, Ken Griffey Junior would never wear a Yankee hat if he grew up in Akron, Ohio, in attempt to project their dynastic aura, regardless if the NY Post called Ken Griffey Senior a less approachable Joe Morgan, until he started ripping fart bombs in the dugout because Junior was only 19 years old when he signed with Seattle and was more into Fresh Prince than Soundgarden.

Michael Kornbluth