Sticking With Nerf Football In The Yard

My dad pushing eventual Pee Wee Football on his grandson is another example of him trying to make me bow down to his authoritative opinion, which makes me think he’s the one with brain trauma from feeding his head with too much acid at Woodstock. Because if I bowed down to this belabored, weak ass pitch command request, I would’ve shied away from doing political  material during my speech at my younger brother’s wedding, when I said to his old pal from Boarding School, “ Cam from Canada, make yourself at home and hit somebody. So, Jim Carrey can paint you as an alt right goon on the loose in Charlottesville, with a Tiki Torch in hand, looking like an angry rejected extra from the Sears Catalog in 89.

Michael Kornbluth

Sticking With Nerf Football In The Yard

My dad pushing eventual Pee Wee Football on his grandson is another example of him trying to make me bow down to his authoritative opinion, which makes me think he’s the one with brain trauma from feeding his head with too much acid at Woodstock. Because if I bowed down to this belabored, weak ass pitch command request, I would’ve shied away from doing political  material during my speech at my younger brother’s wedding, when I said to his old pal from Boarding School, “ Cam from Canada, make yourself at home and hit somebody. So, Jim Carrey can paint you as an alt right goon on the loose in Charlottesville, with a Tiki Torch in hand, looking like an angry rejected extra from the Sears Catalog in 89.

Michael Kornbluth

 

Actually, Giving A Shit About Jay Cutler

Fuck Jay Cutler’s wife for divorcing him because he just wants to hang out with his 3 kids on their Tennessee Farm and enjoy the fruits of his labor. The man was freezing his balls off in Chicago forever, getting his head bashed in while the NFL settled out of court and cut Collin Kaepernick the largest unemployment check ever recorded. But your husband is no longer motivated enough for you, because he doesn’t want to do broadcasting for the NFL and do his best sad sack Troy Aikman impersonation.

Michael Kornbluth

 

Jeff Ross Roasting Jay Z

Jay Z sat out the anthem during the Super Bowl because back in the VIP room before the game, Jeff Ross busted his balls, saying, “Hey Jay, don’t you think child separation could be a good thing? I mean look how you turned out. Plus, if Coco never got separated from his parents, he never would’ve become a mini Los Lobos in the making.”

Michael Kornbluth