Obama Be Meh

Eddie Van Halen dies and David Crosby in his most understated, Garfield ballooning in the yard, yawningly boring way, while still pining for the days when Hendrix used to blow his mind so hard, tweets, “Meh.” Because baby boomer arrogance never dies, and David Crosby is the lamest, least rocking, most overrated fake news hippie of the pack.

The most annoyingly gnawing problem with balding, pony tailed, fake news hippies like David Crosby and George Carlin who viewed tsunamis on CNN as must see entertainment towards the end of his illustrious stand-up comedy career against his dying of the light, is their perpetually bitchy, dissing disposition as if they were the Vietnam vets who got spit on main street back home or the starving no name, burnout casualties of the acid rock era in the sixties, who were reduced to eating stray cats to stay alive throughout the acid crazed streets of San Francisco.  

Plus, how can any member of Gen X not be enraged by the glaring non-stop, crosstown traffic hypocrisy exhibited by fake news hippies at nauseum, by whole heartedly endorsing the endlessly divisive, on air drivel out of NPR, whenever another zero gravitas exuding political pundit questions the mental health of President Trump compared to the non-stop jilted hysteria of Nancy Denture Beath Pelosi, who thinks she’s  the one glowing with a divine blessed spark, as she tears up the President’s State Of The Union speech on live TV, looking like the tweaked out grannie from Requiem for Dream in Armani.   

My parents are guilty of being fake news hippies to, for living in Scottsdale, Arizona for the past 9 years and not once visiting the Grand Canyon, which doesn’t require a hit of Acid to invoke the haunting presence of an older than Earth God, man. You also know you’re a fake news hippie, when you call the President an idiot like David Crosby did, when you’re the one who became a white privileged freebase junkie alcoholic wacko who makes Hunter Biden look like a serial underachiever in comparison. President Trump is smart enough to not suck off Obama Be Meh till his last dying breath, knowing his predecessor’s major foreign policy accomplishment was rebranding ISIS, ISIL, so they’d sound more startup friendly in the NY Times.

This is my impression of President Trump debating Greta Thunberg on the threat of climate change being a more imminent disaster in the making than Obama Be Meh gifting Iran 150 billion dollars to finance more worldwide terror on par with the making of the second Death Star in The Empire Strikes Back. President Trump says, “Greta, fracking reduces our Co2 emissions.” Greta freaks out immediately and says, “So Neil Young is full of shit now?” President Trump says, “Neil Young doesn’t believe in taking showers to reduce his carbon footprint. So that much you share in common babe.” Also, you’re a fake news hippie if you grew up in the age of free love before Magic made HIV disappear and have the gaul to judge your former bandmate Neil Young for leaving his wife of 35 years to date Daryl Hannah because he’s going through a post mid-life never banged a Mermaid crisis.

In the new Cameron Crowe doc about David Crosby, Remember My Name, you learn that not one of his former bandmates from CSNY have anything to do with him now because of his tendency to belittle his former brothers in arms who helped bless him with the most high end hippiedom lifestyle possible before going to jail and almost squandering it all to freebase more coke. And I thought Hunter Biden was a spoiled, ungrateful degenerate, who got paid 50 grand a month by an energy company in the Ukraine he thought was selling Borscht as the new Kombucha.

President Trump is the most anti-war President of all time, who hasn’t gotten us involved in any military entanglements or wars under his watch, unlike Nixon or W, so drop some more CBD, overrated, fake news hippie boomers.

President Trump has authorized his Orthodox Jewish son-in-law Jared Kushner, I know total Nazi, to normalize relations between Israel and various Arab neighbors like The United Arab of Emirates and Bahrain in less time it takes Jared to burst with joy with Ivanka talking dirty to him in Mandarin again. So President Trump actually deserves the Nobel Peace Prize compared to fake news hippies like Obama Be Good who just nuke gifted Iran, let ISIS run wild and weaponized our intelligence agencies by getting them to spy on the Trump campaign through the ridiculous granting of FISA warrants to do so, based on a paid for, planted story from the DNC about Russian collusion with less legs than Lieutenant Dan.    

Plus, you’re also a fake news hippie, if you condemn the Kent State shootings in a song, but not the shooting of a peaceful, Trump supporter by a member of ANTIFA in Portlandia during this past summer of love. Last, President Trump has never done a bump of coke or had a drink of alcohol in his life, so let’s stop acting like overrated fake news new hippies like David Crosby are such alleged stable geniuses in comparison for acting like his life is flush was one smart decision after another. And if Obama Be Meh was blessed with such a beautiful, all knowing mind, then why did he let his daughter, Malia intern for Miramax exactly? Imagine that conversation during Thanksgiving this year. Obama says, “Malia, what’s wrong?  You barely touched your Tofurky.” Malia says, “All my woke friend’s at Harvard don’t know why you let me intern for Harvey Weinstein at Miramax dad.” Obama says, “Quit bugging Malia. Michelle was your chaperone on the set of Girls and that fat Jew couldn’t pin down Michelle if he tried. But I still don’t know what Hillary was thinking hiring Lena Dunham as her Social Media Community Manager. Only Lena Dunham could make Hillary less likeable and relatable in one blubbery swoop.”

Michael Kornbluth

False God Worship Gone Wild

Jeremiah 2:13 “My people have committed two sins: They have forsaken me, the spring of living water and have dug their cisterns, broken cisterns that cannot hold water.”

Before I light the Shabbat Candles, my 9-year old daughter asks me, “Daddy, what’s the difference between Reformed and Conservative. I say, “In America, Conservative Jews don’t slovenly worship false idols like Bruce Springsteen, Larry David or NBA ruining divas such as Lebron James, otherwise known as King Of The Persecution Complex.  Nor do Conservative Jews in America insist on idolizing false Gods like Obama. Despite Obama Be Meh sounding like a bumbling, fake news deep, poor man’s Bob Marely off the teleprompter without the aid of his former speechwriter Ben Rhodes helping him sell the world on why we must trust Iran to honor their nuke building timeout commitment, regardless of Iran’s well-earned killer reputation as the biggest, financier of worldwide terror until the new budget year kicked in for the Empire, to rebuild the Death Star again.”

I support the Conservative Jewish branch of Judaism’s compromised concessions to make their houses of worship more inclusive over the years in America. For example, I’m all for the Conservative branch of Judaism in America finally accepting non-Jews into their congregation, which only started in 2017. Plus, I don’t think Conservative Rabbis officiating intermarriages is the worst thing in the world, if the Jewish man like myself got married to a gentile, even if she refused to convert on the behalf of my putz embedded DNA, if it was still kosher for us to raise our eventual kids under the Jewish faith.

But I certainly don’t see the need for the Conservative Jewish movement in the US to exert any more effort to placate the so-called tolerant sensibilities among the doxing, post woke, editorial board of the NY Times these days either. The same NY Times who bends over backwards to provide real hate speech op-ed forums for Minnesota congressional rep Omar, who claims Uncle Sam’s support of Israel is purely about the Benjamins. Because Jews control the Federal Reserve and all the banks in the North Pole to. How did Baby Face Omar acknowledge the anniversary of Amy Winehouse’s death on Twitter this year? Did she tweet, “Something happened, to a horn hiding Jazz singer who exploited the great Palestinian Songbook for all it was worth?”

How can a God-fearing Jew be giddy at the prospect of enrolling their kids in a Reform Hebrew Schools today, knowing their identity politics obsessed Rabbis openly support the practice of sanctuary cities? Whose policy is to rerelease convicted murders and rapists back into our streets as soon as we catch them? The same reform Rabbis who aren’t calling out ANTIFA for being new age Nazi Stormtroopers in black hoodies on the loose, codded by progressive District Attorney’s and progressive city mayors, who instruct their police squads to stand down as their fellow cops are being blinded by lasers as their cop precincts are being burnt to the ground in the name of peaceful, social righting justice, allegedly.

At the same time, how you can stomach one more Zoom service with a Reform Synagogue knowing the same Reformed Jewish Rabbi there has perpetually sold the easily debunked lie of white nationalists being responsible for causing all the massive unrest during this past summer of love? Which resulted in David Dorn, a retired police officer in St. Louis getting murdered while trying to defend his friend’s store, only for his horrific death to be live streamed on Facebook for his entire family to see in real time, which is as terrifyingly real as it gets.

How many of these woke Reformed Jewish Rabbis in America today ever denounced Jussie Smollett? After he almost inciting a nationwide race war in one not so smooth swoop? How can you be a patriotic Jewish, family man today, and be enthralled with the idea of attending more Zoom synagogue services with a Reform Rabbi, whose never disavowed Kamala Harris for encouraging other celebs to post bail for violent rioters arsonists at large? How can a Jewish father in America today in good conscience send his kids to a Reformed Synagogue today, who doesn’t condemn AOC for her grotesque trivialization of the Holocaust by comparing our border detention facilities with centralized AC to real life concentration camps like Auschwitz?

For the past 3 plus years, Hollywood, Academia, Big Tech, post woke Corporate America and the NY Times have done everything in their power to smear shame Trump supporters into cowering silence through branding all of their Obama smack talk as “hate speech”. They’ve been more than complicit in absolving any blame on the instigation of the Coronavirus from China, scrubbed any medical professional videos on YouTube which encourage the reopening the schools, promote the effectiveness of hydroxychloroquine or cite medical journals which prove masks don’t provide guaranteed immunity from the Kung Fu fighting virus either.

Kayne West sports a MAGA hat in the White House and he’s branded by the media mob online and off as “crazy”, because it exposes the idiotic fallacy behind the fake news assertion of a MAGA hat being the equivalent of a Klan hoodie today, knowing real life skinheads have nothing to hide. I’m supposed to believe the same 64 million plus Americans who voted for Obama twice, are in the midst of born again, white supremacist crisis? It doesn’t mater, we all know anyone for the past 3 plus years whose dared to wear a MAGA in public is inviting non stop verbal harassment or the highly likely possibility of being physically assaulted even if you’re one of the real life Golden Girls, who Cuomo hasn’t killed off yet to make POTUS look bad. The same attack dog, compassionate culture at the Huffington Post, which has never been condemned the act of doxing the personal information of ICE agents because the preservation of homeland security was so weapons of mass destruction years. Did Vox or Buzzfeed ever condemn the doxing of Tucker Carlson’s house in D.C, which lead to a group of ANTIFA thugs, trying to knock down the door to his house, with his wife home alone as she cowered in the closet among of sea of stinky gym socks from Vineyard Vines, as she called 911 in abject horror to come save her? But the NY Times maintains the moral high ground and special glint of divinity by doxing the home addresses of Ecuadorian immigrants who were supposed to be quoted off the record when asked about MS-13.

POTUS passing prison reform, getting Nobel Peace Prize nominations for normalizing relations between Arab nations and Israel or taking Dennis Rodman’s calls to congratulate him on getting Kim Jong to cut out his nuke carrying, ballistic missile stress tests is promoting hate crimes against Muslims and Jews? Sure, and the Catholic Church has bent over backwards to punish pedophilia within its ranks through peacefully transferring them to another parish in an endless, innocuous game of musical chairs. Don’t you get it Trump supporters , if you don’t submit your right to freedom of speech in the service of sucking off Obama’s fake news good hued legacy till your last dying breath, you’ll be doxed, fired from your job and be branded as an eternally unredeemable racists deplorable piece of shit for ever daring to question the all knowing authority of Big Tech nerds and partisan media hacks as they purport to be with all their blustery, bitchy might to be the ultimate arbitrator of good versus evil, even more so than the all mighty Lord himself.

Last, trying to prop up Obama’s so called stellar leadership in the Middle East, especially after he rebranded ISIS, ISIL, so they’d sound more startup friendly in the NY Times doesn’t bend the moral arc of goodness in your favor CNN, sorry. And siding with the Holocaust trivializing squad ad nauseam NY Times, doesn’t fulfill God’s idea of us perfecting the world he gave us to perfect, in a false God worshiping, post woke world gone wild.

Michael Kornbluth

Kind Of Tense

Racial tensions are so high, I can’t even purchase A Tribute to Jack Johnson by Miles Davis without getting serious attitude in return from a sister shooting death stares through my smiles Miles loving soul like I represented the Jewy, parasitical, record executive in every Spike Lee film. Who left Miles with nothing but Wynton Marsalis’s dry cleaning bill, a half eaten bag of stale Cheeto’s and the wife beater on his back, no pun intended. Miles Davis only beat his bitches whenever they resisted his request to iron his suits in the nude while his former bandmate John Coltrane played a live version of My Favorite Things in the original, safe space shoot up place of it’s day. Also, you can’t blame Miles Davis for beating his bitches with religious fervor because he was harassed and assaulted by a cop outside Birdland for helping a white girl to her cab, with his name being on the marquee because he was a blacker, less cross over friendly Chris Brown of his day and Michael Jackson never let him forget it, especially during his oversized space shade phase throughout the eighties, early nineties during the height of Arsenio Hall fever.

Michael Kornbluth

Arousing A Lit Agent Into Action

Dear Terrie Wolf,

Resist This is a pre-election comedy special book, flush with clean, smart, edgy jokes you’ll never hear on Bill Maher, about the resistance insanity and endless excuse tour that’s consumed Big Tech, Hollywood and the media online and off, since the big, bad, blond wolf beat Hillary Hammer Time Cankles fair and square, proving baby boomer arrogance, and millennial mouseketeer petulance never dies. Chapter 11 What Gen X Dads Understand , contains all family related material in the book, which closes out this killer set for the ages with hardcore, punchy pop. It will take a brave Literary Agent with keen bullshit detection lens to embrace my material from start to finish. I hope you’re one of them. 

Tech censorship is a major problem in this country. Hate Speech is a term used to silence those who praise President Trump or those who dare to criticize the continuous divisiveness generated by Obama Be Good or from any of his media enabled minions in pop culture or in Congress who wants to cancel Israel. Do I need to name names? How much time do you have exactly?  Last, I think the sales potential for the audio version of Resist This is huge, 64 million branded racists and growing, to be exact. I also envision enormous international sales in Canada, Australia, India and Israel. Tell me I’m not funnier than Russell Peters and I’ll make my not my President mother happy and become a garbage man for a living like a good deplorable provider for my family of 5 already. Below, is a link for Chapter 1, Hate Speech Dragon On Fire. 

My Very Best,

Michael Kornbluth