Zelensky crashed a Saudi hosted Arab summit, claiming, “You can’t turn a blind eye to Russian aggression. They jail our journalists for speaking the truth, and that’s my job. And with all due respect, Prince Mohammed, our bio lab R&D budgets to work on new weapons of mass destruction don’t pay themselves. With your support, I can draft Orthodox Jews, who refuse to fight for Israel because they’re a bunch of pushover pinko pussies. I’ll make them fight for us. I’ll throw in some free agent Russian hookers who Hunter has on speed dial to sweeten the deal. Besides, The Ukraine is the new Israel, haven’t you heard? Jewish Jesus lives, Challah. Thank you very much.
Saudi Prince says, “Aren’t you the guy who plays the piano with his penis, schmeckle spot? But calling yourself Jewish after getting your kids baptized is a stretch like Hillary Hammertime Cankles claiming how half of her deleted emails were yoga related. Contemplate a divorcation from your power naps on Gucci dufflebags of cash in St. Barts and will talk. Or I’ll unmask your okayness with Hair Plugs Sniffer ordering the bombing of the Nordstream Pipelines because cheap natural gas powering the Mercedes Benz factories in Kraut breath Germany matter. Filling up my wife’s Mercedes Benz SUV shouldn’t cost more than burka cleaning bills in Allah’s hymen hacking paradise. Jewish Jesus would get crucified again if he supported this criminal administration’s premeditated effort to kill off our energy independence. It’s like the Big Guy hogging up all of Hunter’s adderall for himself after giving up blow for blow painting allegedly, after getting paid 52 grand a week by a Ukrainian sports drink energy company, to push chilled borscht as the new Kombucha. So stop acting like the second coming of Jewish Jesus, squinty. You’re not bumping elbows with the needy unless Andy Dick elbows you out of the way to snarf up your last line of blow.”
Jewish Jesus lives, how else can you forgive this neverending shit show? Jewish Jesus lives, Challah, thank you very much.