Rose Tinted Glasses darken tremendously when your daughter Singing Rose Kornbluth orders you to turn down No Remorse live in France by Metallica with the windows down while dropping the ungrateful bitch off for camp.
Daughter yells, “It’s embarrassing Daddy.” I yell back, “Metallica is the bestselling Metal group of all time. And Lady Gaga’s most rocking moment in her life was singing Moth Into Flame with Metallica at the Grammy awards. For once, she exuded a banger pretty vibe for a change. I got some yum, yum sauce for Gaga to gag on.”
Daughter fights fire with fire. “Whatever you say Dice Man. Meanwhile, nobody cares about Metallica anymore. And Thrash Metal is kind of white trashy Daddy. Do Metallica shirts from the eighties come with a Mullet guarantee at Short Cuts or what?”
I park. As she leaves the car I yell, “K Pop can suck the 4 Horseman’s dick. Plus, Dave Mustaine pisses on Lady Gaga. He wrote Peace Sells But Whose Buying on the walls in some shitbox studio because he couldn’t afford paper. Lady Gaga had to live without what exactly? Madonna’s personal email address for dance pointers on Fame Monster between trying to get Guy Ritchie to drop playing football in his downtime versus playing kick the can with her clit. So stop being such a self-conscious buzz kill.”
Youngest son, otherwise known as Hardcore Hunga Rocks says, “I’m not a self-conscious buzz kill Daddy.”
I reply, “That’s why your All Metal Baby. And your big sis is becoming at one with dour dumpy Baba inside. Effortless Magic is fading on Saint Anger Day.”
Fade to black. Fuck ‘Em All, who can’t take a joke, my daughter included in this instance.
No remorse lives. Pulling For Howl Master, Challah. Thank you very much.
Michael Kornbluth
Do It All Dad Year Podcast Blog 