Tag: poetry

Do It All Dad Does China

by doitalldadyear, posted in cooking, fiction, music

Stop spreading disinformation about COVID, it was made in the offices of the Capital Building with China through Zoom.

What major adjustment did the Chinese make post COVID? Didn’t they all wear masks to begin with because the air quality there is more polluted than Michelle Pfeiffer’s womb in Scarface.

Seriously, what major adjustment did the Chinese make post COVID? Hire the Tiger King to manage their new social distance bat petting zoo through Zoom?

The Last Emperor of China was made emperor at 2? Is that in dog years?

When the kid become the last emperor of China at the advanced age of 2, rice farmers muttered in their pre commie censored heads, “I don’t care about the 1 kid policy anymore, if I’m still allowed my monthly ration of Mongolian Barbeque, that includes all the frozen meat packed Lassie I can eat.”

The Dali Lama was already distancing himself from Richard Gere after Sharon Stone’s birthday bash at his crib, when he said, “Those prayer beads didn’t come in red Gere.”

Why is the Delta virus so contagious again? Does it contain the distilled essence of real life patriots from past Trump rally’s of yesteryear? I don’t get it.

But seriously, why is the Delta Virus so contagious again? Is it easily catchable like jungle fever from Pamela Grier retrospectives on IFC for Queen Latifah’s lesbian awakening month?

The Washington Examiner insists all it’s employees wear a mask in the newsroom if they’re not vaccinated . Failing to call out blatant election fraud as the audits roll on, hasn’t made their bullshit detection ability any sharper with their swamp thing siding masks off.

New York City will now require proof of vaccination to dine inside. But your never ending, beyond played out, politized lockdown already destroyed the greatest city on earth and put the Oyster Bar out of business in Grand Central. So at this point, what difference does it make? Like a Jon Hamm donation to pearl necklace Harris for her failed presidential campaign, because Dominion had Mr. Groper’s back regardless, despite his failure to instruct to Hunter to cut out crack, knocking up strippers and creaming into his dead brother’s wife seconds after the cremation ensued.

But the unvaccinated will be allowed to dine outside, harassed by BLM and ANTIFA knowing the unvaccinated resisters are more easily identified to terrorize for the grave offense of sticking up for election integrity laws and for still remaining on Trumpy Poo’s side to, despite him doing less to stop election fraud in advance than ensure Ivanka inherited a shot of his colorful personality through sheer osmosis already.

New York City will now require proof of vaccination to work out at Equinox fitness in Chelsea. I don’t think the fabulous high gay furniture designer is sweating the prospect of catching an itchy esophagus before he goes down on Charlie from accounting in the men’s steam room there either.

Mayor De-Blasio says, “It’s time for vaccine ID mandates. We’ve offered everyone incentive to get the shot in the world, Shake Shack for life, VIP passes to breath on Bruce Springsteen backstage on Broadway through one of Steven Van Zandt’s silk scarves made in France, riding the train on Cardi Bi while waiting for the Lex line to resume it’s normal working business hours again, anyone out there, Mueller, Mueller.

The band Offspring fired their drummer of 14 years because he followed his doctor’s advice and refused to get the vaccine because the potential side effects put him at greater risk considering his pre-existing conditions like being a closeted Trump supporter before the day he allowed Democracy to die under his Tweet topping watch.

Kicking a drummer out of a band who refuses to get the vaccine shot is anti-establishment rock at it’s finest. What does the lead singer of Offspring do for an encore now? Bite off the head of a fake news Chinese Bat to prove non FDA approved vaccines are nothin to fuck with.

In related news Pearl Jam is reported to be playing at Obama’s 60th birthday party at his Martha’s Vineyard’s estate. Will Eddie Vedder blather on about rising sea levels overlooking such pristine oceanfront property. Will he make a plug about global warming despite Al Gore’s speaking career cooling considerably since Pearl Jam socially distanced themselves from Ticketmaster till they couldn’t find a better ticket seller around? Will Eddie Vedder dedicate the song Last Kiss to every Italian Grandma who to give the ghost of her dead husband one last last while dying alone under COVID lockdown arrest because Cuomo couldn’t let all those extra body bags ordered go to waste? Despite all those spacious hospital beds shipped in by Trump that got less touches than a bible at a bath house colony in Provincetown. Will Eddie shy away from singing the song Black, because Obama can’t identify with being a black baller knowing herode the bench an all Asian private school in Hawaii? Eddie Vedder performing the Jeremy song would be done in poor taste, knowing more kids died from suicide than from COVID this past year. Plus, the song loses it’s dramatic oomph knowing Jeremy under remote learning circumstances would’ve gone out with a less of a bang by blowing out his brains on top of his school issued laptop with 13 Reasons on Why on Vinyl playing in the back of his head.

Speilberg dropping by to celebrate Obama’s 60th birthday isn’t the best look for our Jewish people. Obama Be Good only nuke gifted Iran 150 billion on his way out the door to make their economy less reliant on the sale of hair removal creams for the Kardashians.

Interesting fact: If you’ve already gotten the COVID virus, it increases your immunity to fight off charges of fear mongering bullshit like catching an itchy esophagus from a Trump rally retrospective on Newsmax for old times sake.

Can’t you picture George Soros reluctantly watching another huge Trump rally in his one world headquarter palace in Beijing and blurt out loud, “That’s it, get me the Wuhan Lab institute. Time to unleash the Franken Bat on MAGA country once and for all. Is Andy Dick done experimenting with our bat hicky, blood draining treatment yet? With all the blow flushed out his system, I’m positive Apple TV will insure his next film The Adventures Of Tranny Sitting now.”

The Chinese show more blatant disregard for COVID birther stories than free samples of AquaFresh.

Did you know the Great Wall of China is more than 4000 miles long? That’s what Pamela Anderson said.

I’m dropping my kids off at camp and the crossing guard said, “Slow down.” I said, “That’s why Hunter’s dealer said.”

I read the 1st paragraph of 1984 to my 3 kids last night. Daughter asks, “What’s Big Brother daddy?” I say, “A bunch of fake news good will hoodies, Zit Face Zuck included.”

More lockdowns and mask mandates are living, breathing trophies to mark China’s never ending winning streak since the day Democracy died. And the never ending shit show rolls on without a peep from Bruce, who wrote Death To My Hometown. Ain’t that a shame, Fats Domino lives. Thank you very much.



Michael Kornbluth





Semi Hard Inhaling Eyes

by doitalldadyear, posted in comedy, cooking, culture

My new favorite pastime is grossing out random woman outside the grocery store with a look that screams, “I’d throw you some semi erect interest dick for a bit. Before they recoil at my extreme arrogance for thinking they want any part in banging big headed gay dudes.

Michael Kornbluth

The COVID Joke Truth Serum

by doitalldadyear, posted in blogging, faith, fiction

Kamala Harris is less popular than pantyhose on casual Zoom calls.

The COVID vaccine is so useless, not even George Steinbrenner would give Steve Howe’s degenerate younger brother back in the day another shot at big leagues pay.

The COVID vaccine is more useless than trying to snuggle your wife back into her good graces again.

The COVID vaccine has less magnetic power than the Elephant Man show room at Michael Jackson’s house.

The COVID vaccine is desperate for love like a stay home dad around his bi-annual visiting parents.

The COVID vaccine has an urgency problem. Unvaccinated people are in a greater rush to fly Spirit Airlines to Cancun.

The COVID vaccine offers zero ROI, besides fleeting self-satisfied smugness before you learn, it’s keeps COVID away less than wearing a mask at Obama’s 60th birthday.

The COVID vaccine is a bigger bust than Lebron on the Lakers without Uni Brow Davis to bail out the King of Taco Tuesdays at the Staples Center again.

The COVID vaccine offers less box office appeal for our Chinese master overlords than Shia Labeouf.

Big Brother is more into COVID control, than keeping you comfy and warm.

The COVID vaccine is like Courtney Love. You can’t trust that bitch’s integrity either, despite the album Live Through This being Billy Corgan’s finest work pre Mellon Collie Sadness.

Michael Kornbluth

Do It All Dad Does COVID

by doitalldadyear, posted in fiction, health, travel

Fauci warns, means less than In Fuck Face Fauci We Trust.

If Dr. Fauci cares about saving lives, Hunter Biden cares about helping fund the new infrastructure bill with his art sales to China versus blowing the money to reconstruct his deviated septum.

The CDC recommends kids wear the mask regardless of their vaccination status because their kids go to private school in Switzerland. So what difference does it make? Hillary Hammer Time Cankles strikes again, holla. Thank you very much.

Only people not vaccinated are assholes, not the Karen who get’s up in your face at Costco and yells, “Wear a damn mask.” I’ll wear the mask KAREN, only after you suck all the hate speech and white privilege out of my super spreader 1st. But I’ll make it easier for you Karen. Pretend Obama ordered you to leak it.

I go to the Dry Cleaners this morning and they say, “Not ready yet.” I say, “I thought I’d take my chance, thinking, “Who leaves the house anymore anyway? While most most husbands insists my wife is better off wearing a mask in public or not.” The 2 Latino woman working there, laugh long time throughout.

Another heart breaking moment in the age of a parent post COVID. My son whose having a blast at day camp with no masks required asks me at home, “When do we get to have our burning mask party already? I say, “Not until, ANTIFA is designated as the real domestic insurrectionists terrorists by the DOJ or eventually outgrow their never ending pyro phase, so never.”

Did Bruce Springsteen get immunity from the Delta Variant after he sold to his soul to the CDC for free botox injections for life?

I’m so tired of the blame game. Non vaccinated people aren’t the super spreaders behind the made in Wuhan virus. Germs that infiltrate your shitty breathed nappy masks are.

Why should I give a shit about the Delta strain of COVID again when the survival rate is still 99 percent? Dave Chappelle survived his walkabout in Africa with no vaccinations, getting by on nothing but dirt weed, Oprah’s lentil stew recipe and fake news Ali worship in his mind.

Name one reason why Americans should think the US government cares about our collective safety, when open borders Biden had no problem rolling out the carpet for MS-13 at border because homeland security was so weapons of mass destruction years.

Why should Americans think the US government cares about our collective safety, when the demonic Democrats in charge support sanctuary cities, which is encouraged lawlessness on crack. Rapists are re-released back into the streets of NY by the time Bill DeBlasio wraps up another 2 rep 5 pound curl at the Park Slope Y.

Sanctuary Cities offers protection for rapists who can go to the cops for early release with ICE agents on their tail. But the US government cares about saving US lives from COVID? Then, why would Biden let 1million immigrants come throughout our border without checking them for COVID? Are they immune to catching the made in Wuhan virus because the US government social distances them from us by flying them away from the common population by segregating them in more spacious seats within 1st class on Virgin airlines in honor of their sin free, contamination free sparks of divinity.

Fuck your door to door vaccine information initiatives. What is the Willy Loman of vaccination sales going to tell me that I don’t know already? You’ll bribe my kids to get vaccinations when they’re old enough, with more Toca Boca add-on’s they can’t live without. People are still getting COVID after the stab. My kids will be forced to be masked permanently at school like Michael Jackson’s kids in Bahrain if the FDA actually approves a vaccine which works for a change regardless. The Delta strain is more dangerous than barebacking a bat that’s been sexually experimented on with Andy Dick in WUHAN. Delta, come fly the friendly skies was just a fake news bullshit ad campaign in eighties to never be taken seriously like Alan Dershowitz’s fear of guilt through association on Lolita Express 11 times throughout Hanukkah alone, the greedy heeb bastard. I’m a member of the tribe, so me calling Alan Dershowitz a greedy heeb, is all kosher Holmes.

Alan Dershowitz says, “He has a right to get on airplane and know that everybody is vaccinated. Didn’t Nicole Simpson have the right to know her husband’s co-counsel would squeeze the race card for all it’s justice juice and get away with brutally murdering her before all lives matter become the new n word?

The vaccine isn’t fully approved is a parroted talking point? How about I don’t trust any vaccine pushed by President Trump knowing how he pussy footed under the White House with his head between Melania’s legs for cover, while allowing Democracy to die under his watch. How about I don’t trust a vaccine pushed on the American public harder than ESPN pundits claiming Lebron is the new and improved MJ, minus the lone wolf, killer gene since the NBA became a safe space for Lebron’s ego. How about I don’t trust the crazed vaccine push used to justify more mail in voting to steal more elections when numerous truck drivers testified to hauling in ballots to throw in the Dominion tilting tabulation machines, because Biden campaign rallies weren’t enough to fill out the Little Mermaid’s b cup clam shells. How about I don’t trust doctors on MSNBC with Uni Brow Maddow, who sold their souls to China by refusing to be more outspoken about the high recovery rate of patients who were prescribed Hydroxychloroquine within the US, India and beyond the hate speech sphere of Twitter, which only introduced the word hate speech to eliminate pro Trump trash talk.

Why are the Knicks interested in brining Melo back? He doesn’t need to be near Madison Avenue to be the spokesperson for Tampax Tampons. Name another NBA player responsible for so much flowage.

Obama is expecting 700 people for his 60th birthday party bash. Dave Chappelle will MC. If Obama is good at basketball, then why did he ride the bench at an all Asian private school in Hawaii? Imagine Obama after Fox News claimed Biden got more votes than Obama did when he beat Mitt. Obama says, “There’s no way Mr. Groper got more votes than me Michelle. I’m the one who got the Nobel Peace Prize for rebranding ISIS, ISIL. So they’d sound more startup friendly in the NY Times, not Strawberry Shortcake sniffer.”

Chappelle is the biggest black supremacist of the bunch, way more than Lebron, king of the persecution complex. Lebron only wants to run for President just so he could tell Laura Ingraham on Fox News to stick to being a less ghoulish Ann Coulter for a living. Every Chappelle bit reeks these days especially, reeks of black entertainer supremacy trumping all flimsy charges of rape and physical assault whenever the edibles unmask his pot head eyes, “The Neverland kids wanted more than an autograph, Rihanna’s forehead got in the way of Chris Brown’s roundhouse right. R Kelly is the black Elvis with weaker bladder control.”

I’m a moron for sharing a baseball poem to my Aussie wife that I wrote this morning called Ten Homer Daily that my daughter Singing Rose Shoshana Kornbluth sang earlier for our planned early morning, in house date. I didn’t even get an “ah” this time from my wife, just a bewildered look, that screamed colossal cunt. She couldn’t even muster the energy to reply with, “But our daughter still loves me more. So don’t let your bonding time session go to your head. But my wife thinks all masks, even the ones made in Wuhan matter. So what difference does it make? Huma Licker breath strikes again. Thank you very much.

Michael Kornbluth

Do It All Dad Does COVID

by doitalldadyear, posted in culture, fiction, health

Fauci warns, means less than In Fuck Face Fauci We Trust.

If Dr. Fauci cares about saving lives, Hunter Biden cares about helping fund the new infrastructure bill with his art sales to China versus blowing the money to reconstruct his deviated septum.

The CDC recommends kids wear the mask regardless of their vaccination status because their kids go to private school in Switzerland. So what difference does it make? Hillary Hammer Time Cankles strikes again, holla. Thank you very much.

Only people not vaccinated are assholes, not the Karen who get’s up in your face at Costco and yells, “Wear a damn mask.” I’ll wear the mask KAREN, only after you suck all the hate speech and white privilege out of my super spreader 1st. But I’ll make it easier for you Karen. Pretend Obama ordered you to leak it.

I go to the Dry Cleaners this morning and they say, “Not ready yet.” I say, “I thought I’d take my chance, thinking, “Who leaves the house anymore anyway? While most most husbands insists my wife is better off wearing a mask in public or not.” The 2 Latino woman working there, laugh long time throughout.

Another heart breaking moment in the age of a parent post COVID. My son whose having a blast at day camp with no masks required asks me at home, “When do we get to have our burning mask party already? I say, “Not until, ANTIFA is designated as the real domestic insurrectionists terrorists by the DOJ or eventually outgrow their never ending pyro phase, so never.”

Did Bruce Springsteen get immunity from the Delta Variant after he sold to his soul to the CDC for free botox injections for life?

I’m so tired of the blame game. Non vaccinated people aren’t the super spreaders behind the made in Wuhan virus. Germs that infiltrate your shitty breathed nappy masks are.

Why should I give a shit about the Delta strain of COVID again when the survival rate is still 99 percent? Dave Chappelle survived his walkabout in Africa with no vaccinations, getting by on nothing but dirt weed, Oprah’s lentil stew recipe and fake news Ali worship in his mind.

Name one reason why Americans should think the US government cares about our collective safety, when open borders Biden had no problem rolling out the carpet for MS-13 at border because homeland security was so weapons of mass destruction years.

Why should Americans think the US government cares about our collective safety, when the demonic Democrats in charge support sanctuary cities, which is encouraged lawlessness on crack. Rapists are re-released back into the streets of NY by the time Bill DeBlasio wraps up another 2 rep 5 pound curl at the Park Slope Y.

Sanctuary Cities offers protection for rapists who can go to the cops for early release with ICE agents on their tail. But the US government cares about saving US lives from COVID? Then, why would Biden let 1million immigrants come throughout our border without checking them for COVID? Are they immune to catching the made in Wuhan virus because the US government social distances them from us by flying them away from the common population by segregating them in more spacious seats within 1st class on Virgin airlines in honor of their sin free, contamination free sparks of divinity.

Fuck your door to door vaccine information initiatives. What is the Willy Loman of vaccination sales going to tell me that I don’t know already? You’ll bribe my kids to get vaccinations when they’re old enough, with more Toca Boca add-on’s they can’t live without. People are still getting COVID after the stab. My kids will be forced to be masked permanently at school like Michael Jackson’s kids in Bahrain if the FDA actually approves a vaccine which works for a change regardless. The Delta strain is more dangerous than barebacking a bat that’s been sexually experimented on with Andy Dick in WUHAN. Delta, come fly the friendly skies was just a fake news bullshit ad campaign in eighties to never be taken seriously like Alan Dershowitz’s fear of guilt through association on Lolita Express 11 times throughout Hanukkah alone, the greedy heeb bastard. I’m a member of the tribe, so me calling Alan Dershowitz a greedy heeb, is all kosher Holmes.

Alan Dershowitz says, “He has a right to get on airplane and know that everybody is vaccinated. Didn’t Nicole Simpson have the right to know her husband’s co-counsel would squeeze the race card for all it’s justice juice and get away with brutally murdering her before all lives matter become the new n word?

The vaccine isn’t fully approved is a parroted talking point? How about I don’t trust any vaccine pushed by President Trump knowing how he pussy footed under the White House with his head between Melania’s legs for cover, while allowing Democracy to die under his watch. How about I don’t trust a vaccine pushed on the American public harder than ESPN pundits claiming Lebron is the new and improved MJ, minus the lone wolf, killer gene since the NBA became a safe space for Lebron’s ego. How about I don’t trust the crazed vaccine push used to justify more mail in voting to steal more elections when numerous truck drivers testified to hauling in ballots to throw in the Dominion tilting tabulation machines, because Biden campaign rallies weren’t enough to fill out the Little Mermaid’s b cup clam shells. How about I don’t trust doctors on MSNBC with Uni Brow Maddow, who sold their souls to China by refusing to be more outspoken about the high recovery rate of patients who were prescribed Hydroxychloroquine within the US, India and beyond the hate speech sphere of Twitter, which only introduced the word hate speech to eliminate pro Trump trash talk.

Why are the Knicks interested in brining Melo back? He doesn’t need to be near Madison Avenue to be the spokesperson for Tampax Tampons. Name another NBA player responsible for so much flowage.

Obama is expecting 700 people for his 60th birthday party bash. Dave Chappelle will MC. If Obama is good at basketball, then why did he ride the bench at an all Asian private school in Hawaii? Imagine Obama after Fox News claimed Biden got more votes than Obama did when he beat Mitt. Obama says, “There’s no way Mr. Groper got more votes than me Michelle. I’m the one who got the Nobel Peace Prize for rebranding ISIS, ISIL. So they’d sound more startup friendly in the NY Times, not Strawberry Shortcake sniffer.”

Chappelle is the biggest black supremacist of the bunch, way more than Lebron, king of the persecution complex. Lebron only wants to run for President just so he could tell Laura Ingraham on Fox News to stick to being a less ghoulish Ann Coulter for a living. Every Chappelle bit reeks these days especially, reeks of black entertainer supremacy trumping all flimsy charges of rape and physical assault whenever the edibles unmask his pot head eyes, “The Neverland kids wanted more than an autograph, Rihanna’s forehead got in the way of Chris Brown’s roundhouse right. R Kelly is the black Elvis with weaker bladder control.”

I’m a moron for sharing a baseball poem to my Aussie wife that I wrote this morning called Ten Homer Daily that my daughter Singing Rose Shoshana Kornbluth sang earlier for our planned early morning, in house date. I didn’t even get an “ah” this time from my wife, just a bewildered look, that screamed colossal cunt. She couldn’t even muster the energy to reply with, “But our daughter still loves me more. So don’t let your bonding time session go to your head. But my wife thinks all masks, even the ones made in Wuhan matter. So what difference does it make? Huma Licker breath strikes again. Thank you very much.

Michael Kornbluth

10 Homer Daily

by doitalldadyear, posted in poetry, relationships, sports

I promised my daughter we’d write a song together this morning. She sang it beautifully. I don’t call her Singing Rose for nothing, here we go.

10 Homer Daily

10 Homer Daily calls out home run blasts in her sleep while other mere mortals kill the time by counting sheep.

10 Homer Daily squeezes pitchers dry, of any juice left to even pick up a piece of pie.

10 Homer Daily is the bard of going yard. The thought of keeping up with her killer blast flow is so hard.

10 Homer Daily whacks endless balls into the clouds while the Baseball Gods look down below upon more thunderous crowds.

10 Homer Daily loves high fast balls the best, pitch her outside or in, she’ll win any homer contest.

10 Homer Daily can smash a ball out of it’s seams, so move over Robert Redford for the new El captain of your team.  

10 Homer Daily is quite a sight. Her is swing is prettier than Aphrodite’s reflection under the moonlight.

10 Homer Daily was born for these times, while others retire she’s thrives in a perpetual prime.

10 Homer Daily makes the ball disappear in the clouds, inspiring the millions of fans to chant take me out the ball game really, really loud.

10 Homer Daily hits moonshots with ease. She’ll do it again no problem despite the pitcher from the Dominican Republic pleading no mas please.

10 Homer Daily stats don’t require graphs, as her stock continues to rise, as she rounds home to use her bat to sign her signature home trot autograph.

Michael and Matilda Kornbluth

Drinking Material Filler

by doitalldadyear, posted in business, faith

Gave up drinking beer last summer. I felt terrible about spending so much time hungover, RECYCLNG, endless, empty reminders of my lush littered past, as entire Rocky Marathons on AMC passed me by.

I got asked for ID yesterday while getting some beer. I say, “I used to get malt liquor when I was 18. My favorite brand was Old English, Snoop Dog’s ho sprayer of choice to be exact. Have you tried Snoop Dog’s new wine? Wine Spectator says, “It tastes like mouthwash used in Porn Hood Hell.”

Mom just texts me from wine country in Virginia and asks, “Did you recommend me getting into white viognier wine ? I text back, “Yes, viogniers pack creamier heft, than most chardonnays. Not that Hillary would know the difference. Still, it would be Huma Licker’s Breath last option on Epstein Island, OK, Dennis Leary lives, if he came out as a Trump Truther Republican, holla, thank you very much.

Michael Kornbluth