Kari Lake should be picked as the speaker for Howard University’s graduation ceremony if she becomes Vice President in 2024.
Kamala Harris wanted to be here.
But she pooped out after playing kick the can with her clit in St. Barts.
Eminem called Trump the new Hitler.
But when Trump bought Mar-A- Lago, he lifted the ban on Jewish membership, Slim on Facts Shady.
Remember when Kevin Hart backed out of hosting the Academy Awards over a homophobic tweet?
Did the Hip Hop Gay Mafia get under his skin too?
Did Kevin Hart wake up next to Little Nas holding the dirty Aids needle that the Deep State used to take out Easy E?
What I love about President Trump is his relentless optimism and over the top salesmanship.
If President Trump got pricked with the same dirty needle used to take out Easy E.
The President would tweet on Truth Social the following morning.
“Do I have full blown Aids? Yes, but my T-Cell Count numbers have never been stronger?”
But Robert Kennedy as our new Secretary of State nudged me to allow Dr. Gnocchi to be eaten alive by Michael Vicks prized fight dogs, so it’s all good. MAGA glory lives, Challah, thank you very much.
But back to Kevin Hart. I’m not a Kevin Hart hater, just a short-on-laughs audience member at the BET Awards.
Nicki Minaj and I are tight, alright.
The COVID vaccination shot works less than Russell Westbrook running the Triangle offense.
Now, Melo is officially retired.
I want him to get hired as the news spokesperson for Tampax Tampons.
Name another player besides Westbrook, whose been responsible for stopping so much flowage.
We overcame election fraud this time because Hair Plugs Sniffer caused World War 3 with Russia.
500 zillion later, you’d think Zelensky could afford a new shirt.
Now, I know why they call them army fatigues.
If White Supremacy is the biggest terrorist threat in America, then Whoopie Goldberg is the new Chief Happiness Officer for Breitbart.
All the deep state sleaze that overthrew the will of our people, are white. But they were no match for Hershel Walker after Trump elected him as Attorney General.
The Georgian Bulldog knocks off their heads one by one in the 1st ever-televised MMA match outside the White House.
How many crunches do you think Joy Behar can do? Before she pukes out an unhuggable cunt alien in The Day Democracy Died.
Dana White wanted to call the event “Rumble In The Rose Garden.” But at this point, President Trump was done beating around the bush. That’s Louie’s job. So, President Trump named the one-night-only event “Hershel Walker vs. the Swamp Thing State.”
The pay-per-view event paid off our national debut and got our economy roaring again, ushering in a new era of energy independence because fracking is good, Lisa Simpson. Fracking reduces our C2 emissions. So, yes, Neil Young is full of shit too. Besides, our country’s addiction to Mountain Dew and Crystal Meth offsets our country’s low birth rates after the COVID vax did.
God bless Howard University and Puffy Daddy for making Biggie blow up bigger than Hillary after stress-eating herself to death in Gitmo like Pizza The Hut.
The USA has got its mojo back, Jimi Hendrix lives, Challah; thank you very much.
A hologram of Jimi Hendrix appears in front of a purple, red, white and blue because Jimi would want it that way, as the Star-Spangled Banner plays from Woodstock as we fade out, USA, USA, USA!