Gateway To Deflation

You want to learn how much your dad loves you?

Tell him an old friend from college got Cardinals tickets for when you’re in town for the weekend to see George Thorogood and the Destroyers destroy on Friday night with him the previous night.

Big Guy says, “When mom and I passed through St. Louis, we watched a bunch of people enter Bush Stadium.”

And I’m thinking, “You’re failing at selling a better St. Louis story in the making Dad. You watched a bunch of people enter the stadium. What are you a fucking pigeon? How about being excited for your 1st born who blessed you with 3 fuss free grandchildren knowing he leaves the house less than thank you notes to Google for making me a shadow banned Stay At Home Shemale Comedian? And if Google doesn’t manipulate search results, then why is it harder to find negative mentions of Dr. Gnocchi on Google than it is to find a film blogger on Rotten Tomatoes who called the Irishman underrated? My comedy records, all 124 of them should play on every radio station all the time Dad, especially Half Heeb Crazy, Challah. Thank you very much. So, I’m glad you saw Cardinals fans enter Bush Stadium Dad. Bob Gibson is in awe of your lighting fast comebacks designed to make me feel like a loser who missed out in comparison. Vince Coelman and Lou Brock feel like you’ve stolen their best fuck you to material around. And dad, why would you pitch me visiting the Courthouse in St. Louis where the Dredd Scott Decision was made in this instance? Do you want me to celebrate my weekend away from your 3 grandchildren with a friend for the 1st time in 2 years post COVID Damage done or not? So much for no brainer decisions, Challah. St. Louis, here I come, Stan the Man Lives, Challah. Thank you the very much.

Michael Kornbluth