Tag: selfhelp

Marketing Manifesto Pitch

by doitalldadyear, posted in business, cooking, culture

November 15th, 2022 

Dear Lindsey Smith, 

I want you to represent my book, The Koshertarian Comedians, which tells the inspirational tale of a Stay-At-Home Podcast Comedian who cleans up his act a bit during his year without beer while inspiring his wife and 3 kids to give the Koshertarian Diet a chance. Being married to a punk rocker, who’s also fan of voice driven narratives with some edge, I see no reason why you wouldn’t want to inhale the book whole from start to finish. I shed light on gender issues such as whether Stay at Home Dads can survive disdainful ridicule in between landing their next job eventually. They can’t. Although you’re able to ease the pain of scornful, degrative neglect in between with a little help from your Koshertarian comedian friends. How do I accomplish this miraculous feat exactly? Through earning more respectful impressiveness from the more laughs and yummy dance meal creations I make. All while growing closer to God and my 3 kids in the process for trusting in my God given powers of pleasure making dissemination. 

You’re an ideal audience for The Koshertarian Comedians considering your interests lifestyle, self-help, current events and pop culture references, which my Gen X target audience will understand. I also see you minting a publishing deal for The Koshertarian Comedians because it’s a self-help book about the self-empowering nature of creativity that instills pride of ownership. While also giving you the freedom to improve and perfect, whenever you’re making things with love, even if you’re not getting paid for it yet. Another important message imparted in The Koshertarian Comedians is the importance of not blaming the audience if your joke is a yuck yucker or if your latest dish creation bust is a suck, sucker, which is an important to message to impart among the younger, blame ready generation today.

I close The Koshertarian Comedians with a chapter called Exit Interview Day, which is my daughter’s exit interview from eating a strictly Koshertarian diet at home. Here, I lay the groundwork for a killer sequel, called The Pescatarian Comedians, where I declare to my daughter during our exit interview day, “If soulless shellfish was good enough for Jesus, the original super Jew, then it’s good enough for me.” 

Amazon has no books that are even close to being remotely interesting under the Koshertarian or Pescatarian realm, especially through a highly humorous family man lens. You can change that by selling a book James Beard and Anthony Bourdain wanted to read but never could. 

I’ve produced 136 comedy records over the past 14 months such as Brisket Mom Beater, Not Kosher Baby and the Liverpool Lip. The sales potential for these records sold in the form of audiobooks or E-Books, especially throughout overseas markets such as England, Canada, Australia, India and Israel are enormous. I also wouldn’t mind launching a new podcast platform with me as host called Do It All Coach Dads, which could provide the killer filler for our next best seller together. You can negotiate the digital rights with Spotify in between. 

We could also sell a pilot to HBO for The Pescatarian Comedians, delivering bits of food history, bit by bit involving my star seedlings, myself and other promising actors both old and new. Think Drunk History with a foodie minded twist.

Last, I also have 2 other books to secure six figure deals for, Waste of Height Really Short Stories and United We Laugh, all great titles I know. John Lennon wished he was this productive during his Stay-at-Home Dad Years. 

I resume my IT Headhunter career next Monday to finance self-publishing these book gems if I can’t find a lit agent willing to embrace the wild man leanings of the funniest Koshertarian Comedian who’s ever lived before the new year, God forbid. Because Florida and Anti-Semitism are so hot right now. 

Assuming, I haven’t turned you off with my supreme arrogance, thanks for giving The Koshertarian Comedians a chance.

Sincerely,

Michael Kornbluth

Marketing Manifesto Pitch

by doitalldadyear, posted in lifestyle, poetry, writing

November 15th, 2022 

Dear Lindsey Smith, 

I want you to represent my book, The Koshertarian Comedians, which tells the inspirational tale of a Stay-At-Home Podcast Comedian who cleans up his act a bit during his year without beer while inspiring his wife and 3 kids to give the Koshertarian Diet a chance. Being married to a punk rocker, who’s also fan of voice driven narratives with some edge, I see no reason why you wouldn’t want to inhale the book whole from start to finish. I shed light on gender issues such as whether Stay at Home Dads can survive disdainful ridicule in between landing their next job eventually. They can’t. Although you’re able to ease the pain of scornful, degrative neglect in between with a little help from your Koshertarian comedian friends. How do I accomplish this miraculous feat exactly? Through earning more respectful impressiveness from the more laughs and yummy dance meal creations I make. All while growing closer to God and my 3 kids in the process for trusting in my God given powers of pleasure making dissemination. 

You’re an ideal audience for The Koshertarian Comedians considering your interests lifestyle, self-help, current events and pop culture references, which my Gen X target audience will understand. I also see you minting a publishing deal for The Koshertarian Comedians because it’s a self-help book about the self-empowering nature of creativity that instills pride of ownership. While also giving you the freedom to improve and perfect, whenever you’re making things with love, even if you’re not getting paid for it yet. Another important message imparted in The Koshertarian Comedians is the importance of not blaming the audience if your joke is a yuck yucker or if your latest dish creation bust is a suck, sucker, which is an important to message to impart among the younger, blame ready generation today.

I close The Koshertarian Comedians with a chapter called Exit Interview Day, which is my daughter’s exit interview from eating a strictly Koshertarian diet at home. Here, I lay the groundwork for a killer sequel, called The Pescatarian Comedians, where I declare to my daughter during our exit interview day, “If soulless shellfish was good enough for Jesus, the original super Jew, then it’s good enough for me.” 

Amazon has no books that are even close to being remotely interesting under the Koshertarian or Pescatarian realm, especially through a highly humorous family man lens. You can change that by selling a book James Beard and Anthony Bourdain wanted to read but never could. 

I’ve produced 136 comedy records over the past 14 months such as Brisket Mom Beater, Not Kosher Baby and the Liverpool Lip. The sales potential for these records sold in the form of audiobooks or E-Books, especially throughout overseas markets such as England, Canada, Australia, India and Israel are enormous. I also wouldn’t mind launching a new podcast platform with me as host called Do It All Coach Dads, which could provide the killer filler for our next best seller together. You can negotiate the digital rights with Spotify in between. 

We could also sell a pilot to HBO for The Pescatarian Comedians, delivering bits of food history, bit by bit involving my star seedlings, myself and other promising actors both old and new. Think Drunk History with a foodie minded twist.

Last, I also have 2 other books to secure six figure deals for, Waste of Height Really Short Stories and United We Laugh, all great titles I know. John Lennon wished he was this productive during his Stay-at-Home Dad Years. 

I resume my IT Headhunter career next Monday to finance self-publishing these book gems if I can’t find a lit agent willing to embrace the wild man leanings of the funniest Koshertarian Comedian who’s ever lived before the new year, God forbid. Because Florida and Anti-Semitism are so hot right now. 

Assuming, I haven’t turned you off with my supreme arrogance, thanks for giving The Koshertarian Comedians a chance.

Sincerely,

Michael Kornbluth

Do It All Coach Dads Podcast Pitch

by doitalldadyear, posted in education, entertainment, sports

LaVar Ball’s son Lonzo Ball got him a Bentley for his birthday. Do you think a son would hook up his dad with a Bentley for his birthday, if he wasn’t the driving force responsible for him signing an NBA contract with the Lakers, so he could become everything he dreamed to be and that much more?

Barry Bonds had Bobby, Ken Griffey had Senior and Brandon had Bruce Lee, Grant Hill had Thomas Hill, Luke Walton had Bill. Are you touched yet? Do you have any interest in learning how these Do It All Coach Dads bonded through coaching with their new and improved seed, especially knowing their genetically blessed offspring, were also prime beneficiaries of such remarkable, war won wisdom to derive from the start?

Regardless, if you’re dad or not, it’s impossible to not derive some vicarious form of do it all dad pride from mere pictures of father son athletes done good like the one of Rick and Hall of Fame father Brent Barry after he won an NBA Championship for the Spurs.

What drove these Do It All Coach Dads to assume ownership of their kids life education? Because aren’t all coaches, at least the good ones, life coaches who instruct us how to become leaders of men on and off the court, if they push those to the limit, who inspire others through their sheer hard work, passion, grit, imaginative play, commanding flair and developed communicative touch?

When I think of my favorite movies, which fill my soul with infinite do good, empowered, fighting back possibility, I think of the relationships between Rocky and Mick, Mr. Miyagi and Danielsan, even Drago and his son in Creed 2. The one scene, where Drago’s son storms out of their dinner meeting with his mom and the Russian dignitary she left Drago for after losing to Stallone in Rocky 4 was brutal to watch for me, especially, when Drago’s son says to his Dad soon after on their way out the door, “She abandoned us.” I cried on the spot when watching this scene. Drago had done some hardcore bonding with his son through coaching to say the least. Dragon’s son in Creed 2 also represents all of his unfulfilled dreams, which is a common theme most Dad star athletes of yesteryear can identify with and I’ll take Glory Days by Bruce Springsteen for 500 Alex.

Do It All Coach Dads Podcast will give coach dads their long overdue praise and the much needed star studded spotlight they deserve because it’s their opinions about the enduring importance of faith, the power of positive thinking, visualization, preparation, goal setting, will power, practice, hard work, motivation and grit who I care about learning from the most. It’s those Do It All Dad Coach Dads who disperse experience informed tips on what ultimate success looks, feels and acts like as teammates, co-workers, husbands, fathers who I care about learning from the most on a sports educational podcast, not from some random 19 year old rookie in the NBA on Twitter who still educating himself on Hitler, sorry.

Who taught Do It All Coach Dads about how to bounce back from defeat? Who taught these Do It All Dad Coach Dads that the only way to feel like a winner is to win again? How were these Do It All Dad Coach Dads raised to hate losing more than I-Tunes jamming more unasked for singles from U2 down your throat?

Do It All Coach Dads Podcast sells Do It All Dad Pride in raising strong kids, who live to compete because the act of competition and pressure packed adrenaline from performing live in front others, is responsible for bringing out their best fighter selves, while team sports offers the more emotionally expansive opportunity to achieve a greater sense of wholesome purpose and blood on blood unity, which is hard to replicate in the boardroom or in the office kitchen for inclusive, Taco Tuesdays, with plenty of vegan options, after their college playing days are long gone.

Do It All Coach Dads sells do it all dad pride in raising inspirational leaders instead of sheepish followers, doers instead of talkers, creators instead of consumers, builder uppers, instead of belittling, put’um downers.

Bonding through coaching can make our kids great again. Do It All Coach Dads will tell sports related stories of triumph and comeback success, through interviews with Do It All Coach Dads and their kids sometimes together, to focus on the holy, unique bond formed among father coaches and their cherished student athlete children, who receive the greatest gift a father could give their child, like the late great Jim Valvano once said, “My Dad believed in me.”

Michael Kornbluth