Kids don’t have to be closer to Mommy than Daddy.
I’m doing kettle bell exercises with my daughter in the garage to strengthen her core, so she doesn’t become an easily pushed around putz like her daddy was growing up. Since then, I’ve fought back for self-respect through punchlines but I’d rather my daughter not still be stuck in a permanent counter punch mode into her encroaching upon mid-forties, 3 kids later like her aspiring Do It All Dad either. Daughter finishes her kettle bell lunge exercise and says, “Daddy, most girls in my school aren’t close to their Dad’s. But it doesn’t have to be that way forever fellas.
Your kids can actually be closer to dad than mommy and I’m living proof of it since I become a full time stay at home comedian dad 8 years ago and earned my doctorate in comedy control. It’s not a popularity contest, but it upset me knowing young girls at my daughter’s school don’t talk about their dads with tremendous affection or have much intimate bonds to emote about at school within their inner sanctum, who would care most to hear about it.
Thing is, when you become a parent, you spent the majority of your time with your kids, even if you have a full-time job outside the house. You come home from work; kids are still there. Wake up first thing in the morning, yeah, you’re kids are still breathing, living, beacons of shimmering light, brightening your heart like no other, when they’re not preventing from you getting more writing down at home in the service of securing a talent agent and preventing them from starving to death.
A famous humorist, Victor Borge said, “Laughter is the shortest distance between 2 people.” So, if a man wants to feel closer to their kids than mommy for a change, then dad needs to get serious about making their kids laugh more than their kids Amazon Kindles.
Making your kids laugh more matter if you care about pleasing your most adoring fans in the making, but you must be a cheerful giver and showcase a desire to make them laugh and earn the deepened love connections which unfurl as a result.
Making sincere compliments about your kids when they say something funny, helps their expressive confidence and develops their heightened sense of funny also. When my daughter was 4, she stepped on her pink Disney acoustic guitar. I said, “Matilda you never step on your guitar and she says, “But Jimi played with his teeth.” Once my daughter says, “Daddy if Uncle John doesn’t show up to your funeral, I’ll kill him.” Is your daughter’s professing such Kill Bill revenge proclamations in your honor enough to make Shakespeare blush during his tragedy play phase? I didn’t think so.
Recently, I was visiting my parents in Arizona after my dad had a heart scare. My mom says, ” You’re always talking about getting laughs. Why is that so important to you?” At the time, I’m thinking, “Because I’ve worked really hard at being funny and maximizing a special gift God gave me, which makes me feel ultra unique, prideful and elated from growing closer to my children through my use of it as a result. Also, when your mom writes you letter once, stating, don’t expect me to ever show an interest in your comedy career because my dad didn’t care about my banking career. Or says before you leave back home to NY, “It kills me knowing my son’s Trump supporter, I mean you’re smart.” Or when I told my dad, I had quit stand up 2 kids later and he says, “It was cute while it lasted.” Or, “Nobody cares about your political opinions”, once you launch your own podcast in attempt to restart your comedy career and break on through the other side and snag an agent of some kind already. This accumulation of resistance really forces you to dig deep and assess why do you care so much about getting laughs for a living? Why is getting laughs such serious business for me? Because I’m good at it and it makes me feel good, especially when my 3 kids laugh long time from me doing my best, most giving version of myself.
My dentist this week, is talking about more fillings and root canal work, and I make a comment about having to declare bankruptcy because of him, because I’m already so broke, my Hebrew name is under judicial review. He says, “I know you always like to joke and not be serious.” But that’s fake news, because if I wasn’t serious about being funny, I wouldn’t have dedicated 3 years of my life to recording a podcast, and distill those greatest joke hits in the form of stand-up comedy album, Resist This, with an album cover, sporting a Resist This Hat, with an American Flag on it on a mic, at a comedy club, in front of an audience full of pussy hat wearing resistor, humorless, twitter twats in attendance.
I hate how comedy is always relegated to the kid table of seriousness because it’s so much harder to create than writing another tragedy when some poor schmuck runs out of options to support himself or family and decides to blow his brains out instead, of doing more advanced dreaded networking via LinkedIn.
Getting laughs is serious business, especially among your children, because it’s the difference between your family becoming a close family tribe, or another dumpy, distant, uninspired, hate filled, bitter feuding family like the rest.
Getting laughs is serious business, especially for stay at home comedian dads, because we need all the wins we can get it.
Getting laughs is serious business because stay at home dad comedians, can’t survive without effusive, rock solid love from their children.
Getting laughs is serious business for me because it’s who I am, it’s what I’ve dedicated the lion share of my life towards.
At this point of my life, getting laughs is no longer about being more well liked. It’s about fighting back for what I believe in with all punchy inspired might. And what is that unshakable belief, I’m so committed to expressing despite how it’s strained relationships with my wife, fake news friends from my past, in addition to my younger brother and own parents? The belief is, I wasn’t put on this earth to never bore my fellow man to death with unoriginal group think. Nor was I put here to give into fear of not making it, despite so called insurmountable odds and over hyped perceptions of all the dreaded competition. But it’s a young man’s game, they say. Yeah, I’m calling fake news bull shit for the all the above because you possess zero life wisdom in your twenties, which is why Eddy Murphy’s Raw is him doing deflective homophobic material and defending his use of the f bomb for twenty minute of his set.
Before Trump ran for President, he told his son, “Now we find out who are real friends are.” Well, I learned the same lesson, when I decided to throw myself into becoming a full time stay at home comedian, 3 kids later, with my podcast and books and comedy record release. And it’s my children above all else, who are the most invested in success on my own terms, not defined by other’s limited ideas of what level of success I’m capable of achieving.
Do I need a star on Hollywood Blvd. to make me feel a like star Do It All Dad? It wouldn’t hurt. But for now, all I need is my son suggesting we hang his new Wolfie stuffed animal from a high dangling wire outside or Cajun restaurant in New Paltz because I’m committed to being seriously silly around my children and executing my son’s hilarious vision. Snuggling up with my son this morning, on the couch to take in the glorious, bleak yet hilarious shot of his wolfie hanging down from a wire, normally used for outdoor lighting, lit our collective hearts like no other and that’s why getting laughs is serious business and should start mattering to do it all dads who wouldn’t mind the spotlight of their kids love to shine brighter over them than mommy for a change.