Feminism Killed Pick Up Ball

Bill Burr making fun of what the feminist movement has become in his comedy special on Netflix.

The Woman’s March on Washington was disgusting. All I saw was a whole lot of Rosie’s, sporting a whole lot of chin’s. Like I would have my daughter watch it. Daddy, what’s Pussy Power? A new show on Amazon Prime?

Ashley Judd wasn’t raped. She declined an invitation to watch Harvey Weinstein shower himself down in his 5 star suite at the 4 Seasons. Granted, Kentucky gals have plenty of experience judging fat pigs at the County fair.

Why do feminists support Joe Biden? He went skinny dipping at his house with the Secret Service there. That’s like President Trump golfing nude with Kid Rock and Sarah Palin on Ramadan.

I though the feminist movement was started to secure voting rights for woman, not to place Miley Cyrus on the same moral standing as Jesus Christ superstar incarnate.

Why doesn’t anyone call Hillary Hitler? She financed the fake news story about Russian Collusion to cover up what an unhuggable cunt she is. She exposed Nikki Sixx’s snowflake side. You want to talk monstrous?

Does Baby Face Omar text Obama for what Toni Morrison or Maya Angelo quote to use next? Yeah, I don’t see Norah Ephron making Obama’s final cut either. Take a hike Susan Rice. Living in the Big Easy doesn’t make you black enough bitch.

Imagined future interview for a staff Writer role in the city. So you’ve been a stay at home Dad for almost a decade. My father prefers the expression sheltered bum. CEO of new media startup laughs longtime.

All I know is Mick Jagger sounds like Al Gore to me now. And I don’t like it, like it.

I just noticed ankle fat, draped over the back of my Air Jordan’s. I’m no better than Hillary Hammer Time Cankels. And I did Box Jumps today. I bet Hillary has certain aids jump through rings of fire for her box. Pay to play bitches.

EXT. PARK-6PM

Do It All Dad approaches a couple on a bench.

Do It All Dad

Do kids play ball anymore? Also, school just started. Today, they can’t even give basketballs away at Modell’s. Even if they come with Dwight Howard’s trans girlfriends hand prints on it.

My jokes are hidden from the majority of users on Twitter. So what other forms of entertainment do they got? Woman on the bench laughs long time.

 

Michael Kornbluth

Moving Beyond Carnitas Tacos

Salmon Trout doesn’t belong in tacos. It belongs on a buffet station at your hotel in Norway, next to a bowl of capers, pickled herring and 1000 types of room temperature regulated Brie.

Salmon tastes better rolled up in rice or sandwiched between bagel bread and New York made cream cheese because we’re more demanding bitches to please.

White Corn Tortillas are alright. But the sugary white part tones down the corny earthiness. It’s like Kelly Ripa writing jokes for Jeff Foxworthy.

White Corn Tortillas are like George Lopez.
You know George Lopez wants to be loved by white America but not enough to refrain from injecting toppings of Spanish for realer earthiness Holmes.

Sauteed Black Bean tacos in butter, farm fresh plucked orange green peppers, red onion, with bulbs of whole garlic, swirled in it, with homemade chunky red tomato salsa on top is veggie supreme bliss Mang.

Fried Cod used in fish tacos, draped in a Chipotle or Avocado Crema and crunchy, purple slaw eaten at Padres games with Padre is the best. Salmon Trout used in fish tacos with pineapple salsa isn’t.

If you’re going to make Pineapple Salsa, at least be man enough to cut a Pineapple yourself. Because using the pre-cut kind means you’re being a half-ass homo about going all the way with it.

If you make your kids tacos at home. Your kids can’t be accused of Xenophobia at school because they learn fear of making Mexican accented cuisine at home.

Making 2 different types of salsa means you’ve got 2 much free time on your hands between mommy coming back from leading her new mommy meet up group already.

If you suck at rolling joints, chances are your Taco rolling skills won’t be so tight. Come to think of it, a filter to block the salsa from falling out would be handy though.

Michael Kornbluth