Batshit Crazy Pelosi

Batshit Crazy Pelosi sent a Chinese bat into our house to take me out for insisting on social media how the Chinese Community Party has resisted investigations into the source behind the Coronavirus more than Aquafresh.  My wife insisted we get vaccine shots to prevent us from getting Chinese Corona Rabies from the bat just breathing dead dog on us in our sleep.

Michael Kornbluth

 

 

Do It All Dads Buy Dolls They’d Do

If my son played with his sister’s fully naked Ken Doll, I’d tell him to wrap Ken’s peckerwood with seaweed, before taking a midnight dip into Polynesian Barbie.  I wish the WWE made the Charlotte Flair action figure fuller on top like she is in real life because Do It All Dad’s buy dolls they’d do. Buying my son, a Ronda Rousey action figure offers zero appeal to me because I don’t see my son choking one out on her behalf either.

Michael Kornbluth

Our Post Woke Plagued Universe

California Governor Gavin Newsom  is set to release up to 18,000 prisoners by the end of August to slow the spread of COVID.  Can’t the Correction Officers just raid their cells for smokes and call it a day? That’s right, Nancy Denture Breath Pelosi is decrying weed as a miracle drug to cure Covid, despite the disease responsible for puncturing holes through lungs, requiring lung transplants among certain Covid carriers as young as twenty years old. So what’s the difference?

Michael Kornbluth

Hillary Should’ve Hailed A Cab In Harlem

Do you remember when it took Hillary Hammer Time Cankle’s 5 times to get her MetroCard to work, for a failed photo op in a subway station in Harlem? Before swipe number 5, you can see Hillary Hammer Time Cankles, give herself a pep talk,  muttering, underneath her stank afternoon Chardonnay breath, “Super predators, I mean black people are watching.  You can do it.”

Michael Kornbluth

Controlling My Kids With Comedy Pitch

Controlling My Kids With A Comedy, A Love Story, is tale about stay at home dad’s quest to become a podcast hero and publisher author who refuses to give up on making money off his special brand of edgy, family man funny, in order to make his Do It All Dad Year come true. It’s also a clown origin story and about how faith is never giving up on doing you.

Books about fatherhood blow because they never emote about falling for fatherhood, why children love back or how comedy control rules until now. Because like famous humorist, Victor Borge said, “Laughter is the shortest distance between 2 people.” So getting more laughs from your kids is the difference between growing closer to your kids or bombing at parenting, as long as you focus on making the most of your stage time with your kids because they’ll always love you back with 10 times more emotional oomph as long as you make them feel like the center of the universe instead of the reverse.

But failing to be a provider bites and stay at home dads can’t survive unless they find way to cope with not being a financial provider for the time being. Controlling My Kids With Comedy, is also a tale about how stay at home dads get no respect from fake feminists until they start bringing home the bacon again and how coping through clowning through jokes is a way to fight back. It’s also a tale about the pursuit of happiness from the stay-at-home work front, which is the best choice our dads never had. Controlling our kids with comedy, can make our kids great again, Do It All Dad’s fuss free kids, 98 percent of the time are living proof of it.

Michael Kornbluth